Preparing for disappointment
When I told you about my little waste of creativity, by worrying about things, I also talked about it with friends and colleagues. It’s funny how some theme’s in your life suddenly seem to go around everywhere. A lot of people around me are dealing with the same thing. I was having a conversation with someone and she is dealing with a break-up and she had a lot of negative thoughts about it, even though most things are actually going pretty smooth. So yes, it is a tragic situation that no person wants to deal with, but it was all going very civil and nice.
When we talked about her negative thoughts about it, she told me she usually thought of all the things that could go wrong, to shield herself from being disappointed or hurt. And that’s when it hit me: that’s why I do that too. And I could also tell myself that thinking up every possible scenario that could go wrong was not the answer. Not at all.
It got me thinking: why do we do that? Why do we try to prepare ourselves for something bad? Does it make the blow to the gut less if we brace ourselves? Maybe, in some situations, it will work that way. But doesn’t it also make you gloomy about something that actually turns out alright? Is it worth getting all upset, anxious or worried about something that might not happen? Does it make the blow less hard or does it put a little film of anxiousness over your life?
And a little voice in my head also wonders: if you worry up front about everything, does that shield you from disappointment or does it create a little sore of negativity in your soul, that can only fester and eat away. Maybe even create the kind of person that is heavy hearted and prone to feeling depressed and alone? Doesn’t thinking about the possible negatives also take away the shine of all the things that can be so beautiful in life? I recognise so much in what she said! And at the same time I felt like I don’t want to do that anymore. Because bracing myself for being hurt never actually made the hurt less. It might even even made it worse because it was a confirmation of my fears, and it made the fears for the future even bigger. I’m fully aware of how life can suck from time to time. But I’d actually much rather be surprised by a sucky moment every now and then, than to let it be an affirmation of my negativity.
What do you guys think. Does it make it better when you already thought of something that could hurt you? Do you think it helps you to be ready for any sort of pain or does it just take away the spark of the beauty that is (or can be) life?