As you may have seen it’s been very quiet on my blog for the past couple of weeks.
Early january my grandmother passed away after years of fighting illness and that was difficult for me. It’s one of those event’s in your life that you know has to come some day but you’re never really fully ready for it, how can you be? Who’s ever ready for losing an important person in their lives?
In March my other grandmother passed away. She was in her 90′s and again, even though you know that day has to come it still left me taken aback. That’s the only word I have for it because I can rationalise all my feelings by saying they were both old, had beautiful lives and it was their time. And I truly mean every word of that and they were ready to move on. But still, I’ll never see them again and they played a big part in my life even though I wasn’t that much aware of it all the time.
Losing 2 grandmothers in 3 months is just too much and even though I picked up all the things in my every day life, I still have some stuff to work through. I tried putting some feelings to the back of my mind because I didn’t know how to deal with them but sometimes it just sneaks up on me. Maybe this sounds strange but it feels like these events beaten a bit of the creative sparkle out of me, for the moment anyway. It’s not like I’m still in full mourning mode because I have peace with it on some level. I don’t cry a lot about it anymore and I don’t feel I need to, either. There’s just a small part of me that still feels like I need to concentrate more on me, to get all my ducks back in a row.
I was thinking about quitting the blog thing all together but I don’t think now is the time to make that decision. However, I am taking a big break from it. Maybe later I’ll decide to pick it up again. Right now it just feels like a burden and I don’t want to fill my free time with something, when my heart isn’t in it.
I hope you all understand and even if I do decide to quit blogging, I’ll still let you know. But for now I’m just calling it a blogging sabbatical. Usually a sabbatical is at least a couple of months but I’ll just have to see how long it’ll take me to get back on my blogging feet.